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Archive for November 3rd, 2004

Four more years, four more years!

Alright, so I ballsed-up my prediction that Kerry could win, and we’ve got another four years of a Bush presidency. Whoops.

Here are a few predictions for the coming four years:
1. The Democrats decide to try to confuse the voting public by going back to the name “Republican Party”.
2. Canada becomes a right-wing country as all the American “liberals” flee the US.
3. The 2004-2005 NHL season is cancelled. Bush is blamed.
4. Reports of spontaneous head explosions increase ten-fold. Victims span the political spectrum, as Republican heads explode in anger and Republican heads explode in ego.
5. George W. Bush burns down a church filled with disabled war veterans in Alabama and that state still votes Republican for president. Republicans (are you confused yet?) chastise themselves for forgetting to plant cute fluffy bunnies in the church. (Hello Amy!)
6. Americans discover that gasoline is cheaper than beer and start sniffing gas for recreational purposes. Anheuser-Busch merges with Shell.
7. The 2005-2006 NHL season is cancelled. Bush is blamed. Bob Goodenow is proclaimed Public Enemy #1 in Canada and Paul Martin declares a jihad against him.

Just call the damned thing

It’s 7:55pm HST, or 12:55am EST, and CNN currently has Bush ahead of Kerry 246-195. I don’t know why they haven’t called Ohio or New Hampshire yet, since both look fairly safe (Bush for Ohio, Kerry for New Hampshire). If things progress as they did in the 2000 elections I think that means that Kerry will win. Nothing seems to suggest that something out of the ordinary will happen, so maybe tomorrow when I wake up it’ll be in a Kerry USA. That’d be kind of nice.