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Heaven-sent Bad Baby Names

Here’s my thought process as I was reading this week’s list of baby names in the
Hawaii Tribune-Herald:

“Nathaniel. That’s a good name. Navaih. That’s… uh, wait, that’s pretty close
to that stupid Nevaeh name. That’ll go on the post. Next… Nevaeh. OH JESUS WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?”

So not only were Navaih and Nevaeh born sometime in the past month in Hawaii,
THEY’RE TWINS.

First off, Nevaeh is a stupid name. Flipping a word around and naming your kid
is just diputs. Secondly, did this family seriously go nine months without
knowing there were twins in there and had to think up a new name at the last
second? No, that’s not how things work. They had plenty of time to come up with
a new name (maybe Lleh to keep with the theme) but the best they could do was
Navaih? It sounds nearly the same as Nevaeh!

You’re not George Foreman,
you can’t name your kids the same thing, and you really can’t name your kids
different names that sound the same.

I’m not going to go much farther on other bad baby names. For the third week in
a row, some kid was named Legend. There were also Titus-Tayzon, Kelcyn, and
Lyric. They’re not the biggest losers this week though.

That honour falls to Navaih and Nevaeh. Yikes.

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