I got a good day gig. I got a good day gig. Every day when I leave work I come here, or wherever town I might be in, and I join up with the boys.
My day gig is, well, it’s pretty gruesome actually. It’s pretty horrible.
I’m a frogman. I’m a skin diver. I’m an underwater dude for the cops. I investigate, I investigate. I go down and I find people who actually had the patience to let their cars fill with water to the roof before they decided to open the door for pressure reasons.
And I always see them blue and bloated with the window about halfway down, hand clenching the handle, wife riding shotgun, couple of kids in the back. And it just… I see this every day, and it weren’t no thing, it weren’t no thing, and then I come here, and I paddle the stage around for a while, in our little pond, and it weren’t no thing, you understand? I can see them floating in their cars.
“Honey, the ferry takes way too long. Let’s drive across the ice, it’ll be much faster.”
I’m telling her to wait, to be patient, there’s a little spot next to the roof where we can breathe. She’s screaming. The little kids in the back, well they got their carseats, they’re buckled in.
I took a couple of shots of Chivas Regal. I put on my mask. I put in my regulator, and I jumped off.
I see it, it’s a red Toyota.
I talk to the ship through a transmitter.
“I see it, it’s a red Toyota. It’s on the bottom, it seems to be covered with weeds and things, stones. I think it fell through the ice, yeah, it fell through the ice. Headlights are still on, headlights are still on. I can see some exhaust. They didn’t let the water fill up to the roof, they’ve actually got an airtight red Honda, they’re sitting in there with about an hour’s worth of air having a game of crib between man and wife and the kids.”
So I open the door and flood them out and they float to the top like pieces of popcorn. We get them on ship.
“We thought we nearly lost you Mr. Kennedy, we thought we nearly lost you, we were so concerened, we thought we nearly lost you sir!”
I took another shot of Chivas Regal. I took another shot of Chivas Regal.
I think I’m going to quit that job. I’m gonna quit that job. I’m gonna quit that job.