Cort Ray Caldwell answers New Westminster School Trustee questions

Cort Ray Caldwell is running for School Trustee in New Westminster, and he answered my questions. Thank you for answering!

Obviously this is all satire, of course. In fact, Mr. Caldwell included this disclaimer: “Disclaimer: satirical responses may not mirror actual policy.”

The biggest issue in this year’s election is undoubtedly the replacement of New Westminster Secondary School, an issue that has been going on for at least a decade. Every legitimate candidate (sorry, Jim Bell) is on board with getting the rebuild started quickly. When you run for re-election in 2018, what promises will you make to convince voters that the NWSS rebuild will start in 2019?

Cort Ray Caldwell: Oh, wait… isn’t the new NWSS question rhetorical?

There was some recent discussion on Twitter about entering discussions with Richmond towards building a high school in Queensborough that will also take students from the Hamilton district of eastern Richmond. Two part question here: As school trustee, what will you do to ensure that New Westminster students at this Queensborough high school are reminded daily that they are better than their Richmond counterparts, and will you join forces with the pro-expansion council to annex Hamilton and make it part of New Westminster?

Cort Ray Caldwell: Queensborough students will soon be empowered and confident in their new state-of-the-art Save On Foods High, a third of which will extend into Hamilton and act as a beachead.

One of your fellow school trustee candidates asked why three schools (NWSS, Fraser River Middle, and Qayqayt Elementary) are being built instead of just one. That’s an excellent question. Why not one school? In fact, why not tear down all of our schools and take over the Anvil Centre as “New Westminster School”?

Cort Ray Caldwell: These plans have not yet been made public. We really expect to be on budget.

What is your favourite New Westminster school and why is it Urban Academy?

Cort Ray Caldwell: John Robson forever.

Enroling children for Early French Immersion in New Westminster means signing up within the first six months of your child’s life because of the first-come-first-served process. What will you do to change this and require parents to sign up their children for Early French Immersion before they are born?

Cort Ray Caldwell: I will help create a SD business company, promoting French Immersion Prenatal Supplements. Purchase of this nutritional program from a participating Save On Foods will fast-track applications (acceptance not guaranteed).

Fundraising for a playground at Qayqayt Elementary has been a community-lead effort. As school trustee, how many bottle drives and online contests will you help push instead of getting proper funding for these things?

Cort Ray Caldwell: My fundraising strategy will ensure no student is left behind.

  • It will consist of a human train of students, canvassing in an continuous loop around New Westminster.
  • Student enrollment will be guaranteed from Kindergarten, with no wait list, as long as the Preschool Loose Change ticket is completed.
  • Top lEarners will be afforded silver whistles of personal responsibility for use before dawn.
  • Each will be empowered to do creative projects and homework on the backs of students in front of them in the bottle drive train, thereby offering them an opportunity for early high school graduation and a Master’s Degree in Urban Planning by the age of 11.
  • Upon graduation students will be engaged as enabled community members and afforded the opportunity to work in the bottle drive train for either continuing education credits, or advanced placement in the train for their offspring.

Questions for New Westminster School Trustee candidates

My questions for New Westminster mayoral candidates proved to be a hit. Thanks to the mayoral candidates and council candidates who answered!

I met with a couple of candidates for School Trustees over the weekend, and they wanted their own set of questions to answer. Fair enough!

  1. The biggest issue in this year’s election is undoubtedly the replacement of New Westminster Secondary School, an issue that has been going on for at least a decade. Every legitimate candidate (sorry, Jim Bell) is on board with getting the rebuild started quickly. When you run for re-election in 2018, what promises will you make to convince voters that the NWSS rebuild will start in 2019?

  2. There was some recent discussion on Twitter about entering discussions with Richmond towards building a high school in Queensborough that will also take students from the Hamilton district of eastern Richmond. Two part question here: As school trustee, what will you do to ensure that New Westminster students at this Queensborough high school are reminded daily that they are better than their Richmond counterparts, and will you join forces with the pro-expansion council to annex Hamilton and make it part of New Westminster?

  3. One of your fellow school trustee candidates asked why three schools (NWSS, Fraser River Middle, and Qayqayt Elementary) are being built instead of just one. That’s an excellent question. Why not one school? In fact, why not tear down all of our schools and take over the Anvil Centre as “New Westminster School”?

  4. What is your favourite New Westminster school and why is it Urban Academy?

  5. Enroling children for Early French Immersion in New Westminster means signing up within the first six months of your child’s life because of the first-come-first-served process. What will you do to change this and require parents to sign up their children for Early French Immersion before they are born?

  6. Bonus question inspired by Jen Arbo: Fundraising for a playground at Qayqayt Elementary has been a community-lead effort. As school trustee, how many bottle drives and online contests will you help push instead of getting proper funding for these things?

Answers can be sent to me at brad.cavanagh@gmail.com. Thanks in advance!

Update: Here are some answers to my questions!

Jonathan X. Cote answers New Westminster mayoral candidate questions

Jonathan X. Cote is running for Mayor of New Westminster, and he answered my questions. Thank you for answering!

Obviously this is all satire, except for The Truth About The Machine!

Question: Supporting and growing local businesses will help keep jobs in New Westminster, grow our tax base, provide opportunity for New Westminster citizens to live and work in New Westminster, and bring more people to our fair city. A wide range of businesses is also good for a city, as it diversifies the tax base and does not make us reliant upon any one industry. As mayor, what will you do to bring more Save On Foods grocery stores to New Westminster?

Jonathan X. Cote: I believe it is critical that the City of New Westminster alert the competition bureau immediately about the growing monopolies with our grocery stores so that they use their powers to further reduce retail competition in our community.

Question: The Bailey Bridge was a source of contention between New Westminster and Coquitlam in 2014. As mayor, what will you do to piss off Coquitlam in 2015?

Jonathan X. Cote: I have long believed that New Westminster would benefit from an expanded land base. The twinning of the Bailey Bridge should help facilitate the Royal City’s long desire to have an IKEA.

Question: Fallen leaves from trees are a menace to the walkability of New Westminster, creating slippery sidewalks and clogging our storm drains. What will you do to rid New Westminster of this scourge? Patrick Johnstone, you’re ineligible to answer this question because we all know you love the trees. Okay, here, if you want to answer a question for #3 here goes: If you love trees so much why don’t you marry one?

Jonathan X. Cote: I want to represent tree huggers all across our fine city and advocate that we modernize our marriage laws in this country.

Question: Without using Google, what are the eleven neighbourhoods of New Westminster? Yeah, eleven. I had no idea there were that many. Don’t forget Connaught Heights, everybody forgets them. At least they have a SkyTrain station! Okay, what are the other ten neighbourhoods of New Westminster?

Jonathan X. Cote: Uptown, Maillardville, Downtown, Sapperton, Moody Park, Queensbourough, Burquitlam, Brow of the Hill, Fraser Mills, Victory Heights, Queens Park, Glenbrooke, Connaught Heights, West End, Quayside.

Question: Speaking of the neighbourhoods of New Westminster, which is your favourite and why is it Sapperton?

Jonathan X. Cote: I love Sapperton because of its central location right in the middle of New Westminster (pending expansion plans).

Question: Why have none of you developed your websites with Of Desks, one of New Westminster’s finest web design and development companies?

Jonathan X. Cote: My wife is awesome and donated her time and effort building the Cote Campaign website. Of Desks would have been my second choice.

Question: It’s been shown that using a middle initial makes you look smarter. As the only candidate to use his middle initial in this campaign, why do you need this advantage? What are you hiding?

Jonathan X. Cote: I was hoping this question would not come up, but in an effort to be transparent:

■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■

■ ■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■ ■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■

■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■ ■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■

■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ ■■■■■ ■■■■■

Question: Much ink has been spilled about The Machine that runs your campaign. What fuels The Machine — gas, solar power, or the tears of your vanquished opponents?

Jonathan X. Cote: We were very fortunate to have a wonderful summer this year, as the “The Machine” is powered by sunshine and Popsicle sticks.

Patrick Johnstone answers New Westminster mayoral candidate questions

Patrick Johnstone is running for New Westminster City Council. He answered my questions using graphics and photos that he was already using on his blog, New Westminster In My Back Yard. Creative, innovative, and showing a distinct amount of laziness to not come up with new answers! Thank you Patrick!

I shouldn’t have to mention that this is all satirical.

Supporting and growing local businesses will help keep jobs in New Westminster, grow our tax base, provide opportunity for New Westminster citizens to live and work in New Westminster, and bring more people to our fair city. A wide range of businesses is also good for a city, as it diversifies the tax base and does not make us reliant upon any one industry. As mayor, what will you do to bring more Save On Foods grocery stores to New Westminster?

The Bailey Bridge was a source of contention between New Westminster and Coquitlam in 2014. As mayor, what will you do to piss off Coquitlam in 2015?

Fallen leaves from trees are a menace to the walkability of New Westminster, creating slippery sidewalks and clogging our storm drains. What will you do to rid New Westminster of this scourge? Patrick Johnstone, you’re ineligible to answer this question because we all know you love the trees. Okay, here, if you want to answer a question for #3 here goes: If you love trees so much why don’t you marry one?

Without using Google, what are the eleven neighbourhoods of New Westminster? Yeah, eleven. I had no idea there were that many. Don’t forget Connaught Heights, everybody forgets them. At least they have a SkyTrain station! Okay, what are the other ten neighbourhoods of New Westminster?

Speaking of the neighbourhoods of New Westminster, which is your favourite and why is it Sapperton?

Why have none of you developed your websites with Of Desks, one of New Westminster’s finest web design and development companies?

James Crosty answers New Westminster mayoral candidate questions

James Crosty is running for Mayor of New Westminster, and he answered my questions. Thank you for answering!

I shouldn’t have to say that the questions are satirical and James gave some kind of serious answers. He said it was fun to answer though!

Supporting and growing local businesses will help keep jobs in New Westminster, grow our tax base, provide opportunity for New Westminster citizens to live and work in New Westminster, and bring more people to our fair city. A wide range of businesses is also good for a city, as it diversifies the tax base and does not make us reliant upon any one industry. As mayor, what will you do to bring more Save On Foods grocery stores to New Westminster?

James Crosty: Nothing, there are enough already and I really like Columbia Square with free parking and walking distance from home.

The Bailey Bridge was a source of contention between New Westminster and Coquitlam in 2014. As mayor, what will you do to piss off Coquitlam in 2015?

James Crosty: Nothing, they are already upset, but Wright and Cote denied any wrong doing in this area last night (Ed: Mr. Crosty answered the night after the first mayoral candidate debate). Yet taxpayers are footing the bill when it could have been free.

Fallen leaves from trees are a menace to the walkability of New Westminster, creating slippery sidewalks and clogging our storm drains. What will you do to rid New Westminster of this scourge?

James Crosty: Volunteer Patrick Johnstone to work evenings, weekends, and Friday (because it’s his day off) to rake them all up.

Patrick Johnstone, you’re ineligible to answer this question because we all know you love the trees. Okay, here, if you want to answer a question for #3 here goes: If you love trees so much why don’t you marry one?

James Crosty: I wouldn’t suggest that because his bark is much louder than a tree…

Without using Google, what are the eleven neighbourhoods of New Westminster? Yeah, eleven. I had no idea there were that many. Don’t forget Connaught Heights, everybody forgets them. At least they have a SkyTrain station! Okay, what are the other ten neighbourhoods of New Westminster?

James Crosty: McBride-Sapperton, Massey Victory Heights, Glenbrook, Downtown, Quayside, Queensborough, Uptown, West End, Brow of the Hill and Moody Park. Oh and did I mention Connaught Heights… And I didn’t look it up!

Editor’s note: Nine out off ten for Mr. Crosty! Although he did call it “Glenbrook” and not “Glenbrooke North”… :–) And he forgot Queen’s Park too! Queen’s Park, I think you need to change your name to Uptown!

Speaking of the neighbourhoods of New Westminster, which is your favourite and why is it Sapperton?

James Crosty: Because I used to live there but I like the Quay too and ahh…Massey Victory Heights, Glenbrook, Downtown Queensborough, Uptown, West End, Brow of the Hill and Moody Park oh and did I mention Connaught Heights…..

Why have none of you developed your websites with Of Desks, one of New Westminster’s finest web design and development companies? (Oh man more free press for Of Desks!)

James Crosty: I have an excellent in-house live-in really great designer, besides I may not get any dinner if I went to another designer! No growler for you!!!

As mayor, will you learn how to properly reference someone on Twitter by using the @ symbol in front of their name?

James Crosty: Well I do know how to reference someone on Twitter but not sure when it comes to Mayoral candidates. I don’t want to promote any “Machines”. Besides, none of them follow @crostyca

Mike Folka answers New Westminster mayoral candidate questions

Mike Folka is running for New Westminster City Council. He answered my questions. Thank you for answering! I’m sure voters will find your answers… illuminating.

I shouldn’t have to say that this is all satire. :–)

Supporting and growing local businesses will help keep jobs in New Westminster, grow our tax base, provide opportunity for New Westminster citizens to live and work in New Westminster, and bring more people to our fair city. A wide range of businesses is also good for a city, as it diversifies the tax base and does not make us reliant upon any one industry. As mayor, what will you do to bring more Save On Foods grocery stores to New Westminster?

Mike Folka: If I elected, I promise to give Save on Foods a special tax exemption in the hopes of encouraging more Save On Foods stores to move into the city. Save On Foods are a vital cornerstone to any livable community and any future development will be built around that philosophy. I hope to have a Save On Foods on every block by the time my 4 year term is complete.

The Bailey Bridge was a source of contention between New Westminster and Coquitlam in 2014. As mayor, what will you do to piss off Coquitlam in 2015?

Mike Folka: My hope, if elected, is to update the welcome signs on the New Westminster-Coquitlam border to read “Welcome to New Westminster. Aren’t you glad you’re no longer in stupid, smelly Coquitlam?”. I would also personally call the Mayor of Coquitlam severals times at home between the hours of 3am-4am and immediately hang up no less than 4 times a week.

Fallen leaves from trees are a menace to the walkability of New Westminster, creating slippery sidewalks and clogging our storm drains. What will you do to rid New Westminster of this scourge? Patrick Johnstone, you’re ineligible to answer this question because we all know you love the trees. Okay, here, if you want to answer a question for #3 here goes: If you love trees so much why don’t you marry one?

Mike Folka: For too long the citizens and businesses of our city have had to carry the tax burden while trees have been given a free ride. This must stop. I believe it is time for the trees to finally start pulling their weight and, if elected, I promise to institute a tree tax, to be paid by the trees, within the first 30 days of being on council. This tax will be used to deal with all leaf and leaf-related clean up. Any tree caught not paying the tax will be punched in its leafy face by me.

Without using Google, what are the eleven neighbourhoods of New Westminster? Yeah, eleven. I had no idea there were that many. Don’t forget Connaught Heights, everybody forgets them. At least they have a SkyTrain station! Okay, what are the other ten neighbourhoods of New Westminster?

Mike Folka: Ok. I’m actually doing this without cheating. Pretty sure I’ve got this one so here we go:

  • Uptown
  • Downtown
  • Sapperton
  • Kelvin
  • Glenbrooke North
  • Glenbrooke South
  • Queensborough
  • Brow of the Hill
  • Victory Heights
  • Moody Park

Editor’s note: This one is kind of a trick question because there isn’t really any good definition of what a “neighbourhood of New Westminster” is. You can go off of the Residents’ Associations which doesn’t list Uptown or Glenbrook South as neighbourhoods. Then again I think I’d probably answer Uptown as well, but it’s kind of nestled between Brow of the Hill and Queen’s Park (which Mike missed!).

Speaking of the neighbourhoods of New Westminster, which is your favourite and why is it Sapperton?

Mike Folka: That’s easy. If we break down the word Sapperton we get “sap” and “perton”. Sap is used to make maple syrup which is delicious. And “perton” is in no way offensive whatsoever. Therefore, Sapperton is both delicious and inoffensive. What’s not to like about that?

Why have none of you developed your websites with Of Desks, one of New Westminster’s finest web design and development companies? (Oh man more free press for Of Desks!)

Mike Folka: Because we’re running a fiscally responsible campaign over here at Team Folka and therefore can’t afford to hire professionals. The guy we could afford to hire barely knew how to turn on a computer and was willing to be paid in expired coupons. We were very appreciative.

Questions for New Westminster mayoral candidates

New Westminster is going to have an election on November 15, 2014, for mayor, city councillor, and school board trustee positions. There are four men running for mayor: current mayor Wayne Wright, current city councillor Jonathan X. Cote, local businessman James Crosty, and electrical engineer Vladimir Krasnogor. I have some questions for them. In fact, any of the people running for councillor can answer these too.

All Candidates

  1. Supporting and growing local businesses will help keep jobs in New Westminster, grow our tax base, provide opportunity for New Westminster citizens to live and work in New Westminster, and bring more people to our fair city. A wide range of businesses is also good for a city, as it diversifies the tax base and does not make us reliant upon any one industry. As mayor, what will you do to bring more Save On Foods grocery stores to New Westminster?
  2. The Bailey Bridge was a source of contention between New Westminster and Coquitlam in 2014. As mayor, what will you do to piss off Coquitlam in 2015?
  3. Fallen leaves from trees are a menace to the walkability of New Westminster, creating slippery sidewalks and clogging our storm drains. What will you do to rid New Westminster of this scourge? Patrick Johnstone, you’re ineligible to answer this question because we all know you love the trees. Okay, here, if you want to answer a question for #3 here goes: If you love trees so much why don’t you marry one?
  4. Without using Google, what are the eleven neighbourhoods of New Westminster? Yeah, eleven. I had no idea there were that many. Don’t forget Connaught Heights, everybody forgets them. At least they have a SkyTrain station! Okay, what are the other ten neighbourhoods of New Westminster?
  5. Speaking of the neighbourhoods of New Westminster, which is your favourite and why is it Sapperton?
  6. Why have none of you developed your websites with Of Desks, one of New Westminster’s finest web design and development companies? (Psst, Wes, you can get me a growler from S&O next time I see you)

Wayne Wright

  1. Your website lists your accomplishments without saying what you will do in the coming four years. Should we take this to mean that you’re going to bulldoze everything you’ve done and do it again?

Jonathan X. Cote

  1. It’s been shown that using a middle initial makes you look smarter. As the only candidate to use his middle initial in this campaign, why do you need this advantage? What are you hiding?
  2. Much ink has been spilled about The Machine that runs your campaign. What fuels The Machine — gas, solar power, or the tears of your vanquished opponents?

James Crosty

  1. As mayor, will you learn how to properly reference someone on Twitter by using the @ symbol in front of their name?

Vladimir Krasnogor

  1. What do you have against machines? Are stocking frames safe in New Westminster under your mayoralty?

Answers can be sent to me at brad.cavanagh@gmail.com or, if you’re James Crosty, you’ll probably tweet them to me anyways at @CanSpice. I fully expect none of you will respond, but be warned that I’ll put your responses up here when I get them!

Update: A number of candidates have answered these questions:

Why I won’t be voting for Lorrie Williams

Lorrie Williams is currently a councillor for the City of New Westminster. She is running for re-election in November 2014, and I won’t be voting for her.

There’s an intersection in New Westminster that is dangerous to pedestrians and cyclists. Since 2011 there have been various attempts to make the intersection more friendly to pedestrians and cyclists, and in 2014 the city’s Engineering Department provided a report describing all of the possibilities for doing so. It’s a long report, full of pictures and maps and all of the things that everybody could ever think of to change the intersection.

The report recommended cutting a three-metre section out of a wall, and re-routing pedestrian traffic through that. In conjunction with realigning the crosswalk, this would make pedestrians more visible to drivers turning right.

The recommendation was voted down by Council in May 2014.

Lorrie Williams had this to say:

I don’t want to see any of the wall taken down, thank you very much.

She also suggested agreed with Betty MacIntosh’s idea of putting up a blinking sign to warn drivers. (Edit: I originally stated that Councillor Williams suggested the blinking sign idea. I’ve been made aware that Councillor MacIntosh originally made this suggestion and that Councillor Williams agreed with it.)

Here are the two reasons why I’m not voting for Lorrie Williams:

  1. She put preservation of a heritage wall above pedestrian and cyclist safety.
  2. She rejected three years of hard work by experts in the field with an incredibly off-the-cuff and dismissive non-solution.

Patrick Johnstone (who is also running for City Council) summed up #2 the best:

With all due respect, does the Councilor seriously think that through three years of engineering staff time, committee meetings by at least three City committees (two who are dedicated to discussing accessible transportation issues), and the hours spent by the team of professional traffic consultants hired to develop and assess the best alternatives – IT NEVER OCCURRED TO THEM TO SEE IF ADDING A FREAKING FLASHING LIGHT WOULD WORK!?!

The arrogance expressed by Lorrie Williams in thinking she might know more about traffic safety than professionals and experts who live and breathe traffic safety, that’s why she lost my vote.

Introducing ‘pwned’: An AngularJS directive to search against the Have I Been Pwned database

The Have I Been Pwned website lets you check your email address against a large number of data breaches. If it’s in there, then your email address and probably some form of your password are out there to the public, all ready for nefarious use.

And security researchers all say that you shouldn’t re-use passwords, because that’s unsafe precisely because of these data breaches. Wouldn’t it be nice to be warned that your email address or username has been compromised, and then you’d get some kind of warning to not re-use a password? The ideal time for this is when you’re picking a new password for your account, right?

If the site you’re logging in to is built with AngularJS then I have the thing for you! Well, for whoever built the website, at least:

It’s a simple AngularJS directive that checks against the HIBP database!

I’ve put up a very simple example of it here for you to try out as an end-user.

May the Force Be With Your Bad Baby Names

After a pretty long hiatus, Bad Baby Names are back! To be honest, I got a little bored of all of the bad baby names that the Hawaii Tribune Herald kept serving up. You can only make so many jokes about too many Y’s or girls named Madison before they start getting stale. But this week’s list had a name that I just couldn’t pass up.

See, normally I get a link to the list of births emailed to me every week (thank you If This Then That!), and it puts the first two names in the body of the email. The first name in the list spurred this post (don’t worry, we’ll get to it) but it turns out that there are a couple of non-standard Bad Baby Names that deserve mention.

First, Spartacus. That’s a hell of a name to live up to, and I only hope his classmates help him out when he throws spitballs in class.

Second, along the same lines as Spartacus, comes little Ronilla-Cleopatra. Watch out for asps, little one! It’s lucky you’ll be growing up in snake-free Hawaii.

And the reason behind the Bad Baby Name rejuvenation: Princessleia. The only way this little girl’s name could get any better is if her middle name were Organa. Then the force would truly be with this girl.