Every Monday the Hawaii Tribune-Herald
publishes a list of babies that were born in Hawaii County over the previous
week. Given that parents these days seem to have some sort of disease that
turns the name-choosing part of their brain to mush, the list is usually a
source of unintentional entertainment.
Yesterday’s paper was no exception, yielding two choice names. Yes, there were
two horribly bad names that there wasn’t a clear winner.
The first: Dicetin.
I swear that this is true. Dicetin. That’s not a name, it’s what
D&D players carry their
around in. It’s not even a bastardization of a name, like another entry in the
list, Madisyn (which isn’t the second Bad Baby Name of the Week, amazingly).
What’s next, someone’s going to name their kid Toaster? Or Toastyr? Christ.
The second Bad Baby Name of the Week: Alextacy.
I can’t remember if this was a boy’s name or a girl’s name. In either case it
shouldn’t have been a name at all because it’s just imbecilic I’m going to bet
that the parents’ names are Alex and Extacy and they thought it would be cute
to merge their names together to get the name of their precious baby. Well
guess what clueheads, it’s not cute, it’s idiotic.
I suppose that Alice and I are going to have to name our kids Bralice (or maybe
Bralyce) and Alad. And right after that you all can line up to smack both of us
in the face.