Categories
2015 Canadian Federal Election Federal New Westminster Politics Satire

Kyle Routledge answers New West-Burnaby MP Questions

Kyle Routledge is the Green Party candidate for New Westminster-Burnaby, hoping to represent us all on a federal level, and he answered my questions to the Member of Parliament candidates. Obviously this is all satire so if you’re a complete asshole and use any of these answers in some kind of stupid candidate shaming activity […]

Categories
2015 Canadian Federal Election Federal New Westminster Politics Satire

Questions for New Westminster-Burnaby MP Candidates

It’s election time again! And you all know what that means — more stupid questions from yours truly! This time it’s a federal election, and sleepy little New Westminster gets lumped together with a bit of Burnaby to form the new New Westminster—Burnaby electoral district. We have four declared candidates: Peter Julian (NDP, and considered […]

Categories
New Westminster Satire

New West Rumour Mill, May 2015

It’s time for another Rumour Mill! There has been a lot going on in New Westminster recently, so let’s find out what the rumours are! Rumour has it that an occupant has been found for the empty restaurant space at the Anvil Centre. People have been understandably hush-hush about it, because it’s a flagship location […]

Categories
2015 Transit Referendum History New Westminster Satire

New Westminster Rumour Mill

This is first of what will hopefully be a monthly post here, where I report back on all of the rumours that are floating around the lovely city of New Westminster. First up: the parkade. Rumour has it that Council has seen the light and they will not be tearing down half the parkade. Instead […]

Categories
2015 Transit Referendum Satire

Reasons to vote ‘no’

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been a little harsh on the ‘no’ side of the upcoming transportation plebiscite. To give a little bit of extra press and coverage for them, I’m going to list the valid reasons for voting ‘no’. Here they are:

Categories
New Westminster Satire Transportation

New Westminster Police Department steps up traffic enforcement

During his 2014 campaign, New Westminster Mayor Jonathan X. Cote promised to “target regular and consistent traffic enforcement to discourage drivers from cutting through local neighbourhoods.” Three days into his term, the effects of this promise were displayed as members of the New Westminster Police Department descended upon the Queens Park neighbourhood to apprehend a […]

Categories
Satire

Found! The missing edits from Jonathan Cote’s inaugural address

While rooting through the recycling bins at New Westminster’s City Hall, I found what looked to be a speech printed out on the City’s letterhead. There are a lot of things crossed out with red pen, but it’s pretty obvious that this is an early draft of incoming mayor Jonathan Cote’s inaugural address. I’m going […]