Federal · Satire · TransLink

Trudeau announces new Kinder Morgan route, Broadway SkyTrain

Earlier today, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that Kinder Morgan is applying for a re-route of their TransMountain pipeline that currently runs from Edmonton to Burnaby, B.C. He also announced conditional federal funding for an expanded SkyTrain line to be run in a tunnel under Broadway in Vancouver. “We have heard criticisms over the past… Continue reading Trudeau announces new Kinder Morgan route, Broadway SkyTrain

New Westminster · Satire

New Westminster to replace Quayside trees

After hearing Quayside residents’ complaints about trees blocking their view of the Fraser River, the City of New Westminster has decided to replace all of the trees along the waterfront esplanade. “We recognize that residents desire a view of the Fraser River, but we must also remain cognizant of our recently-enacted Tree Protection and Regulation… Continue reading New Westminster to replace Quayside trees

New Westminster · Politics · Satire · School Board

Education Minister tours NWSS

BC Education Minister Mike Bernier recently toured New Westminster Secondary School at the invitation of New Westminster MLA Judy Darcy. NWSS is scheduled to be replaced, and Darcy invited Bernier to show him the deplorable conditions in the school. “NWSS is in bad shape,” Darcy said. “It’s really put New Westminster on the map, and… Continue reading Education Minister tours NWSS

Local · New Westminster · Politics · Satire

Cote announces Quebec expansion plans

New Westminster Mayor Jonathan X. Coté today announced New Westminster’s expansion into the province of Québec. Local community builders (and all-around great people) Briana and Will Tomkinson are spearheading the future annexation of Montréal with their move earlier this week. “I cannot be more excited about these plans,” Mayor Coté said. “With their years of… Continue reading Cote announces Quebec expansion plans

2015 Canadian Federal Election · Federal · New Westminster · Politics · Satire

Where is Chloe Ellis?

Chloe Ellis, we miss you. Sure, I’m writing while you’re at the only meet-the-candidates event you’ve participated in in New Westminster, but you’ve skipped every other one (including the two that I went to), you didn’t answer the local paper’s questions, and even worse, you didn’t answer my questions. Egregious! But we all know you’re… Continue reading Where is Chloe Ellis?

2015 Canadian Federal Election · Federal · New Westminster · Politics · Satire

Sasha Ramnarine Answers New West-Burnaby MP Questions

Sasha Ramnarine is the Liberal Party of Canada candidate for New Westminster-Burnaby, hoping to represent us all on a federal level, and he answered my questions to the Member of Parliament candidates. And remember, the questions (and probably answers) are satire, so if you take them out of context, bad things will happen. Also, thank… Continue reading Sasha Ramnarine Answers New West-Burnaby MP Questions

2015 Canadian Federal Election · Federal · New Westminster · Politics · Satire

Peter Julian answers New West-Burnaby MP Questions

Peter Julian is the NDP candidate for New Westminster-Burnaby, hoping to represent us all on a federal level, and he answered my questions to the Member of Parliament candidates. Like I said before, these questions are satirical and the answers should be taken in the same vein. If you use any of this out of… Continue reading Peter Julian answers New West-Burnaby MP Questions

2015 Canadian Federal Election · Federal · New Westminster · Politics · Satire

Kyle Routledge answers New West-Burnaby MP Questions

Kyle Routledge is the Green Party candidate for New Westminster-Burnaby, hoping to represent us all on a federal level, and he answered my questions to the Member of Parliament candidates. Obviously this is all satire so if you’re a complete asshole and use any of these answers in some kind of stupid candidate shaming activity… Continue reading Kyle Routledge answers New West-Burnaby MP Questions

2015 Canadian Federal Election · Federal · New Westminster · Politics · Satire

Questions for New Westminster-Burnaby MP Candidates

It’s election time again! And you all know what that means — more stupid questions from yours truly! This time it’s a federal election, and sleepy little New Westminster gets lumped together with a bit of Burnaby to form the new New Westminster—Burnaby electoral district. We have four declared candidates: Peter Julian (NDP, and considered… Continue reading Questions for New Westminster-Burnaby MP Candidates